Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Now hiring! Thugs, cut throats, desperados... Contact Cedric Cromwell

"I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, @ss-kickers, sh#t-kickers and Methodists."  said Hedley Lamar in Blazing Saddles, but it might as well have been Cedric Cromwell today on WRKO when asked by Tom & Todd whether or not he could form his own "internal army" on his new reservation casino.

The show hosts noted "his face lit up" as Cromwell explained that there would be "border patrol management" and "sovereign police" on his casino reservation complex as their sovereignty as an independent nation within the borders of Massachusetts and the community which turns their land rights over to the tribe.  Of course he would need protection as no state or local police jurisdiction or authority would be recognized.  "Sovereignty is interesting" according to Cedric "crush the competition" Cromwell and he says the Mashpee tribe hasn't decided how they will handle jurisdictional issues.  

So, if you think you have what it takes to be a Mashpee tribal security police officer or border protection agent send your resume to:

Cedric Cromwell, Mashpee Wampanoag Supreme Commander
8 Seanna Road
Attleboro, MA  02703

According to his WRKO interview he plans a full "destination resort" casino with shops, restaurants, cinemas, restaurants, clubs, entertainment venues, bars and, of course "full-blown gaming" which will all need tribal policing, security and apparently border controls.   This will, in Cedric's words "crush the competition" because he won't pay a dime in taxes or fees.  Cedric discussed tax-free cigarette sales, tax-free "New Hampshire style" liquor store.  However, on a good note Cedric pledged to not sell heroine under his leadership (leaving that door open to a successor).

But apparently Cedric won't be happy with just destroying South Shore businesses and culture, he also plans a 85,000 square foot  indoor water park with indoor beaches so visitors won't have to bother leaving the reservation to enjoy Cape beaches where they might accidentally spend a few bucks off the reservation.

While the Wall Street Journal is reporting that East Coast casino jobs and wages are in sharp decline, Cedric claims he'll have 4,500 - 5,000 "reservation" jobs - of course not covered by any federal, state or local labor rules or ordinances.  While workers on other non-Indian gaming operations will have to undergo background checks which can be reviewed by state auditors, no such state oversight or background checks will be needed at Cedric Cromwell's Wampa World.  So, all you thugs, mugs, rustlers and cut throats hanging on the street corners of Providence, New York and Newark pack your bags for Mashpee - there's a no-background check job waiting for you with Cedric's Army.


  1. No background checks, no state or local oversight - the lords at Genting (who send armed thugs to collect their cash from the Seneca in New York) are probably shaking in their silk slippers. Cedric will need more than a few local sharpshooters to keep them from collecting their slice of the pie.

  2. The address you for Commander Cromwell is the on that was taken by Household Finance for nonpayment. Find where he lays now in a mansion financed by his bosses the Malaysians. He already runs the tribe as his own country with dictatorship. With thugs his, security force and paying his Council off to vote as he say .And he has his First Lady Eva" Cheryl" Peron or Imelda"Cheryl" Marcos

  3. He already hires thugs and criminals, his brother inlaw and a few others on the payroll. Plus his wife has a pretty shady background.Hey the malaysians are the ones whom will do the hiring as it belongs to them and not the tribe.The border patrol is to keep the tribe out.

  4. Now mr. anonymouse, you be respectful of Cedric's bro-in-law. Just because he likes to beat on women and show his wiener to people doesn't make him a bad man, after all, he had an illustrious career as a Petroleum Distribution Engineer...

  5. Harpoon you said it I did'nt. But you know what I'm talking about.

  6. People with no knowledge , people that have no degrees and most likely wouldn't know how to manage ignorant people that are fighting and making statements when they really don't know where the money is going and the made the election ..... The real question is ? What would any of you do if you had such an important position

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